BUTTERSTAR: pointy and probably bad for you
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Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "butterstar" journal:
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11:36 pm
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My beeutiful hippie locks are no more!
So as with any big change (this one being bigger than most, since it looks like the SO and I are splitting), I decided to do something drastic. I chopped off my hair. I wanted it to look somewhat ragged, but it looks a little TOO ragged. Gotta work on that mirror/cutting thing.
Anyway, it totally took 10 years off. I looked like a wee youngin' again. I decided to send the hair to Locks of Love, a charity that makes wigs out of donated hair for kids with illness-induced hair loss. I didn't know if I'd make the cut (hee hee, that's punny), b/c they required 10 inches of hair at least. But I figured I would, after a second glance. So now my gleaming chestnut semi-curls (old perm at the ends, doncha know) will be on their way to Ft. Worth, Florida. They require you to measure the ponytail you send and write the length on the outside, so I found out the length after all.
18 inches of reddish-brown, pantene-treated gorgeousness.
And to think, it was NOWHERE as long as it was 2 years ago. Gah, what a hippie.
Now, to dye the rest red. You can henceforth refer to me as Raggedy Ann.
Current Mood:  calm
Current Music: "Over And Over", Nelly with Tim McGraw
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02:43 pm
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The perfect workout
Dance around with your little one to the "Step in Time" scene in Mary Poppins. It's fast-paced and 14 minutes long. Just try doing the moves they make, I dare you!
Current Mood:  blah
Current Music: Chim-chim-cheree, from Mary Poppins
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04:28 pm
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barefoot in the snow
So my SO bet me his share of my grandmother's annual xmas check that I wouldn't go out barefoot in the snow on our deck to retrieve a plastic jug that had somehow found its way out of the recycle bin. OK, so really I bet him I would do it. His mistake was taking me up on it.
Guess who's got extra spending money for January? Hoo-yah!
(Never challenge a Florida gal with inch-thick calluses from going barefoot all those years to a foot competition. I didn't feel a thing.)
Current Mood:  chipper
Current Music: Jimmy Buffett "Lucky Stars"
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04:47 pm
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Lucky Charms: Pagan Blight, or Christian Conspiracy?
I've been in a pre-Christmas funk lately; I've been avoiding both my journals. Shame on me. So, in honor of the Christmas season, I bring you:
Lucky Charms: Pagan Blight, or Christian Conspiracy?
On the surface, Lucky Charms is a happy, fun cereal. Its colorful marshmallow shapes have tinted the milk in children's cereal bowls all over this nation, and possibly, the world. We all know that the marshmallows are representative of, well, lucky charms. Or at least they're supposed to be. Some of them are a stretch, but for the most part, they're things considered "lucky". Four leaf clovers, horseshoes, shooting stars, blue moons, that sort of thing. In fact, it's become more superstitious and therefore, heathen, since its original incarnation of "pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers, and blue diamonds". One could say it's quite a heathenish cereal, importing all sorts of nonsense to the younglings about superstitions and such:
BUT...
if you look closer, you can see the subliminal message; not in the marshmallows, but in the dry sugary cereal that nobody pays attention to:
I nearly had a cow the first time I noticed this. Christian fishes? Crosses? Christmas trees? In a cereal?? Holy crap!
The marshmallows, or the fun pagan rites, draw them in. Then they are inundated with Christian imagery that outnumbers the nummy stuff 20 to 1. Just like in real Christianity, they stole all the good stuff from the non-believers. And now it's in your kids' cereal. Sneaky bastards.
Coincidence? How in holy hell could this be a coincidence??
And what's with the red balloon? I can't help but think of the 99 Luftballoons song. How is THAT lucky?
Current Mood:  silly
Current Music: 99 Luftballoons *g*
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09:26 am
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terribly un-PC...
yet very silly, and yes, even funny.
I've decided I've been too dreary lately (and while it's hard not to be dreary when you're borderline insane/suicidal, hey, ya can still try!). Anyway,I'm going to try to do some funnier stuff. Ya know, for kids. Because, hey, it's Christmas!
So here's a little, cheerful un-PC xmas song parody my SO cooked up on the fly last night. He's a good ol' southern boy, so is qualified to make fun of southerners (kind of like how no one can beat up your kid brother but you):
(to the tune of The Christmas Song ("Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...")
P-nuts boiling on an open fire
Finger picking at your nose
Pesky negroes being hung by a choir
And making fun of eskimos
Ain't he sweet?
I'm not 100% sure that "pesky" was the word her used, but if it wasn't, it was something very similar. I just can't remember (damn you, lousy memory).
It came about b/c of a southern version of White Christmas he was making up that but it morphed into the other song. Something about "dreaming of a beige Christmas", "where the dead leaves rustle, and rodents bustle" (the rodents part was my contribution) and something about the rodents feeding on roadkill or something. Don't remember.
This all came about b/c he was talking about how the snowy white traditions of Christmas are based in the fact that back in the day, the songwriters and entertainers all came from (and I piped in here, "Los Angeles?"...I got a dirty look) the Northeast. And then he tried to argue that most of the population in the country then was in the northeast (true or not, what that has to do with anything, I really don't know, and I doubt it's true anyway, considering the time period he should be referring to). So that's why Christmas is traditionally snowy in cards, stories, etc, even in the south where it doesn't usually snow. I didn't quite agree, seeing as he ignored a lot of the country where it does snow, ie. the midwest, plains states, etc (he was saying that it only snowed at xmas time in the Northeast and the rest of the country was forced to take on this ideal...this coming from a smart man who obviously wasn't listening to what he was saying), and he was forgetting all the immigrants who brought snowy traditions with them. But my main argument was, even if it didn't snow in most of the country usually (not true, but hey, southerners are very southern-centric, just like yankees are godless, blue-voting elitists), that no one wants to have an ugly Christmas where it's just a bunch of dead lawns when you look out your window Christmas morning. The less snow happens, the more magical it is, and Christmas is a time for fucking magic, people! So if there's even a slight chance of snow, people are going to wish for that. Which spawned his songwriting foray.
He might have some valid points; what he was really trying to say is that, since back in the day all the big cities were located in the northern part of the country, when stuff was mass-produced for Christmas in these industrial centers, they reflected the Christmas around them. Ok, I can buy that. But I still stand by my pretty vs. ugly xmas argument. And the fact that Santa rides a sleigh pulled by reindeer is no NYC invention. Most of its origins are in old-world tradition. The spread of it to the very southern parts of the country was no doubt in part fueled by entertainment. From what I understand, back in the day, even in the north, a lot of rural people didn't celebrate xmas, believing it to be an evil Catholic Church device. It wasn't until the Germans and Scandinavians brought their traditions that it really started to spread. But we're talking waaay back in the day, as in revolutionary times. And this is a lame, boring tangent.
So anyway, Christmas Is For Kids, as Charlie Chase might say. What that has to do with anything, I don't know.
Current Mood:  amused
Current Music: John Denver, "Aspenglow" (from Rocky Mtn Xmas)
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11:11 am
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I don't really have anything to say
But maybe something will come out of this entry anyway. Who knows?
I came very close to losing it completely this weekend. But I managed to hang on. Why, I'm not sure, since it will just be more of the same craziness. But that's what we do, us crazy people. Until we kill ourselves, that is. Here's hoping I don't take it that far.
I'll be glad when the current crop of insanity is harvested (ooh, cheesy harvest metaphor right in time for Thanksgiving! Whee!) and we can move on to the festive mindlessness that is Christmas.
Yeah, I don't know if there's a god, but I sure ain't gonna be dissing no Santa!
Long Live Santa!
Clean up today (after ceiling patchers are done), pie-baking tomorrow, turkey-roasting the next day, then party-decorating on Friday. And in there, I have to get some work done. Somehow. Oh, and keep sane during.
That, plus the fact that my SO alternates between being sweetly attentive, enormously resentful, and a lying bastard (I know, I screwed up my list. the last is a noun. Oh, writing skillz! How you've deserted me!).
Oh yeah, and bankruptcy. Whoopee!!!
Ah, well. There's nothing to it but to muddle through somehow. I always do. Though I see myself doing more muddling now than ever before. Gah, and I thought it was bad in college. That was nothin'!
Someday I hope to not live a life of quiet desperation. I'm not counting on it anytime soon.
Current Mood:  apathetic
Current Music: 45s and More
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10:35 am
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Is this how Kurt felt??
If I had a gun, I'd shoot myself right now. If I didn't feel so guilty about the mess I'd leave behind. And I'm not just talking about the buttery brains and the starry eyes; I'm talking about the general mess of my life right now, which is, of course, why I want to shoot myself.
Being responsible sucks. Especially when fate keeps smacking you down through no fault of your own.
Oh, and I don't have a gun, either. But this kind of insanity is sure to transcend the three-day-waiting period.
Can things get worse? Oh, My Lordy, Yes!
Current Mood:  frustrated
Current Music: "Pancho & Lefty"
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07:22 pm
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this means something...
So my stars are all very, very wrong. Or something. A friend told me all about why crap keeps happening in my life, but it's not enough. I want something bigger to blame. God, maybe? I don't know if I even believe in god. Oh, horrible agnosticism! But that won't stop me from blaming the "him" with a capital H (sorry, but isn't that just a little, well, pretentious? Whassupwidat, god?).
Anyhoo, untold ridiculousness going on at the butterstar household, and none of it buttery, yummiliciousness, either. I can't even fathom how I got into such a mess.
But, maybe I will start writing again. Supposedly I am to be starting a project that will be difficult, and I won't see any results for a year. So the stars say. Sounds like a novel in the making...just maybe??
Oh, who am I kidding. It's more likely to be a giant sculpture of Devil's Mountain. Made with debris from the ceiling that collapsed two nights ago in my apartment. At least Richard Dreyfuss got to see aliens. What did I get? Diddly.
Big Fat Sigh.
Current Mood:  morose
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09:05 pm
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So I'm lost amidst a sea of cheese...
I like to eat healthy. Really, I do. Sometimes I crave salads. Some may say that is a sign I'm not eating enough of them. They may be right.
My SO is vegaphobic. It's hard to plan a dinner together and cook vegetables for one. And salads? No matter how much I like them, I am not likely to eat a whole one by myself. Why don't they make one-serving size bags of Salad Express and charge twice as much, just like the mini-cans of coke?
Anyway, pizza for dinner. Again. And I wonder why I've gained untold poundage since being with him. Did I mention that he doesn't like outdoor activities?
But man, that was some good pizza.
Thinking about writing today. Just thinking about it. Compared to about a month ago, this is a big step.
Current Mood: indifferent
Current Music: Sarah McLachlan
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12:40 am
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I am lonely today
And very, very tired. So this will be a short first entry.
Really short.
Current Mood:  tired
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butterstar's journal